How To Get Unstuck

We all get “stuck” at some point in our lives… or at least I’d like to think I’m not alone. Crickets? Okay, maybe it’s just me… But on the off chance you are “stuck” just like me… here’s some ways I’m trying to pull myself back out of the mud and muck.

LOWERING THE BAR

*Not to be confused with going to the bar. Although I enjoy an adult beverage now and again. Remember – Moderate is KEY. Also if you are currently working through a substance abuse issue, PLEASE don’t let my quirk drive you to drive, etc. (My bad!)

What I actually mean is… Lower that internal bar of excellence.

You know the one… That internal (or maybe external) expectation that tells you if you aren’t “here” then you aren’t worth a damn? That one. I want you to lower that one.

You know why? Because right now you are fighting a battle that no one else can quite understand. Sure, there are others (like me) that have been in similar situations. But, really? We’re all different. What we can and can’t do, tolerate, or feel are all different. What may be easy peasy to moi, may in fact be very difficult to you. Or vice versa.

My uncle recently compared medical lingo to his computer jargon. As in he didn’t understand what the doctors said about my ailing grandfather because he didn’t know how to speak the language (and/or that health professional didn’t do a great job explaining). To me medical lingo is easy to understand. Well mostly easy. I have to “dumb is down” for people everyday. So I struggle to understand when my own family doesn’t ask for clarification. However, I can appreciate that talking to the doctor is usually intimidating. Even for me. But we all need to work on our communication. Because my MacBook is in serious need of some help and I don’t know what to do about it. Ugh. Sigh I digress.

So basically, temporarily, cut yourself some slack. I don’t mean lower the bar permanently…. especially if you are going to move to and unpack in depressionville. Let’s not stayyyy there. Let’s heal and return to It’s A Wonderful Life-Ville. Just with our new tools to help the healing continue once back in civilization land.

GET SOME VITAMIN D

Have you heard of SAD? Not like I’m sad, but Seasonal Affected Disorder? It happens to people that don’t get enough Vitamin D in areas of lower sunlight.

So when you are feeling down, low, sad, or depressed. GET YOUR BUTT UP AND GET OUTSIDE!

Don’t worry – I use the same level of ridiculousness with myself.

In fact I just came back inside from walking my dog for the millionth time today… Okay okay maybe only the 3rd. Fourth if you count the time when it was too hot for her tootsies.

But I can say that I typically feel better once I get some sunshine. I’ve even walked outside during a work day to just soak up the sun on a particularly rough day. It helps. Try it. (*Peer pressure much?*)

WALLOW – BUT ONLY A LITTLE

Sometimes it’s okay to wallow. But again, we’re not unpacking in bummerville. It’s a rest stop on the way to recovery.

So play your sad music, watch your favorite movie, eat your favorite snack/meal (not the whole supermarket please, the gym and sunshine only do so much), journal your frustrations. Maybe your frustrations will be reading this dumb blog. But hey…. this is my journaling too! 😉

Sometimes we just need to take a moment to let ourselves and our souls breathing, and be sad. Someone once told me “moments” are okay, but patterns are not. So when I feel that I’m stuck in a pattern, I know I need help. Whether that is professional or just me refocusing on me, myself and I – I just know that I need to get to work. And I’m guessing that’s why you’re here reading this.

Wallow, cry, nap, and dust yourself off. We’ve got work to do!

TAKE IT ONE STEP (AND DAY) AT A TIME

If you are anything like me, you know that some days are better than others. And then yet others are terrible. I’m currently working through a rough day. But blogging helps me. So does my ESA Hazel Nut. And sometimes the cat helps too. Sometimes.

But other times… you know what? NOTHING helps. Those days are the scariest. Because I don’t have the want, or will to live. And those days suck. But like every other day, it’s 24 hours. And when I see the red flags of my burnout/PTSD/Depression waving erratically, and desperately I have learned I need to stop, take a minute, breathe and/or just let the day end without advancement.

Today? I screamed at God. Well, I screamed at my ceiling, out the window, I even flicked off the air. I was upset. I just felt like the world (AKA God, Life, etc) was f**king with me and I was tired of it. Little things here and there that would normally not affect others were insurmountable for me today. So I broke. I was just so broken that I couldn’t even CRY. No tears. Or maybe that’s my level of dehydration…. I should add that eating healthy and drinking water is an important part of recovery. But I’m no poster child. I’m just in the trenches right along with you.

So we’re talking it one day at a time. When I just couldn’t get passed my hurdle I took a nap. I reset and tried again when I got up. I also vented a lot to my mom, best friend (Heyyy AP!!), shook it off and tried again.

And you know what? I made progress. Which then made me feel better. It may not be “where I want to be” progress, but I made progress all the same.

REACH OUT

Reaching out is sometimes the hardest thing I do. Because really? I’m tired of hearing about my meltdowns, setbacks, frustrations, and craziness. So if I’m tired of it.. aren’t others? And sometimes they are. But I also know who is going to come back to me when I need them the most.

Sometimes I just have to say. HEY. I’m “here” right now, and they suck it up buttercup to help me through my baggage. But it took a lot of lost pride, and being at the end of my rope way too many times for me to just come out and say I NEED HELP. Because as great as Hazel Nut is, sometimes even her ESA status is not enough for me. Or sometimes she’s my trigger. All depends on the day.

But I reach out. Sometimes I really don’t want to. Sometimes I just want to disappear and let the depression overtake me. But then I find those situations when I found a “reason I’m here” and know why I went through what I went through. So someone else can learn from my struggles and angst. Those moments are hard to appreciate. BUT know that there is always someone out there that will help. Heck, message me and I’ll be the “ear” you bend. I may not be able to help, but maybe I can. You never know.

SET GOALS

We all need something to look forward to in life. So set goals. If you have BIG goals, set baby steps and goals to reach that bigger dream. My darkest moments are when I have nothing to look forward to and nothing to live for. So take life by the horns and make something out of it. We all start with nothing. You have to learn to roll over before you can crawl, walk, run.

Happy Healing,

Nattie