Life is… what you make it

They say that life is what you make it. While I don’t know who “They” is… I would love to meet them and punch them in the gut. Life is what you make it… but that cliche is never comforting during those moments in life when the struggle is REAL.

I am currently sitting on the edge of a life altering decision. It’s a decision I feel faced with wayyyyy to often. The decision of “What next?” Is plaguing me day and night.

True to my usual form, I’m six months in to this new place and want out. Like yesterday. But how many times have I had this EXACT same feeling? How many times have I started over? How many times have I run away from the life in front of me.

If life truly is what you make it… then I just keep creating a giant mess of a life.

Regardless of the mess I’ve currently created… I am still on the edge of a decision. A life altering decision. And while the positive person would look at my situation and say: At least you have a job (ick), or at least I have the ability to change my mind. One might even say at least I tried… Although I don’t know if I’ve fully tried. One could even say that at least I know that this isn’t for me…

But where is my place for me? Where is the place that soothes my soul, encourages my mind, and heals my body. Where is the place where I belong. And how do I create a life that I no longer want to run from.