10 things to let go of in 2020
Hello 2020! Goodbye 2019!
As the New Year approaches I can’t help but wonder what this next year will bring. Annnnd reflect on what this year has brought.
2019 was a year of changes. Of uncertainty. Of pain, sorrow and fear. And a year of preparation. For the entire year of 2019 has prepared me for what’s to come in 2020. Whether or not it’s been a “good” year, it brought lessons.
Here’s my top 10 lessons of 2019…Or basically what I’m leaving behind in 2019.
1. Going at it alone
If there’s one thing I fully understand after 2019… it’s that even when you think you’re going through the sh*t of life alone… you really aren’t.
Someone’s there. Someone’s watching. Someone’s around to listen… even if it’s not who you thought should be there, someone is. And that someone is in your life to help get you through.
2. Self doubt
I have a LOT of self doubt.
I doubt everything about myself. Every decision I’ve made. Everything.
So this next year I’m nixing the self doubt and trying to have a little faith. After all, I’m trying my best and self doubt is only hurting me.
3. Negativity
In 2020 I plan to lose the negativity. The most common thing I say to myself, about myself, or out loud… is negative. I’m fat, I’m stupid, I’m blah blah blah.
Regardless of the context, the message is the same: Self Depreciation
There are plenty of self help books, or the like that talk about how you talk to yourself says a lot. Well… the way I’ve been talking to myself hasn’t been healthy, inviting, or productive.
If 2020 is all about the “new and improved me” then it has to start with dropping the all to frequent and easily come by negativity. I don’t need rainbows blowing up my dress, but I definitely need to work on a little self care and a whole lot of loving thy self.
4. Being the “Yes (wo-)man”
We all have moments in our lives when we say “yes” to something we really don’t want to do, say, or be.
Well. Starting this coming year I’m not going the extra mile for others. Please don’t confuse that with becoming some self-centered horrible person. Because that’s not ideal either.
I’m just not going to say yes when my head and heart are screaming no.
If I don’t want to do something I’m not going to force myself to do that something…. that is with the exception of paying my bills or working. I have to do those things.
5. Being friends with those people
You know those people. The ones that aren’t actually your friends, they just want something from you. The takers as some like to call them.
The people in your life that really just drag ya down and stomp on ya until they get whatever it is that they want.
Well… I’m here to say goodbye and so long to those people. Friendship is about the give and the take. And the people that are meant to be in your life are going to stick around. Those that are only around to benefit from you, or your misery … well they need to be cut loose. Let them figure it out on their own without your calculus notes.
6. Holding grudges
2020 is a new year and a new decade. So leave the bitterness and grudges that are holding you back in 2019. You really don’t need to take your baggage with you into 2020.
Don’t worry. I’m sure 2020 will have it’s own set of baggage to create as we see fit. But lets work on letting go of the baggage we’re holding onto this year.
Whatever hate, grudge, or memory that’s holding you back and tying you to the past… Unfasten that BS and leave it in the dust of 2019.
You have so much ahead of you that’s coming, why carry a heavy load into such a huge year?
7. Forgetting to fill up your cup
Self care is immensely important in today’s world. In a world filled with so much hatred and anger, taking care of ourselves is so incredibly important.
It’s so easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle…. forgetting to take care of yourself as you take care of others. But the saying is true… You cannot pour from an empty cup. So fill yourself up first.
Sometimes its simple gestures and sometimes they are grand. Whatever they may be, don’t forget to take care of yourself.
8. Holding onto what was
Sometimes in life we forget about the reality of life before us and we live in the memory of what was. Or what should be.
But in holding on to what was, we lose track of how it could be. Whether that be amazing, or not, the could be isn’t the same as what we are holding onto. And sometimes that could be is pretty great. You just have to let go of the past in order to grasp the future.
So maybe life didn’t work out as you planned. Maybe the life you thought you were planning didn’t turn out to be the same as you envisioned. So do you keep living in the past, ruining what’s here and now trying to make it into something it wont be?
Or do we let go of that vision and embrace what’s before us?
9. Fear of starting over
We’re all afraid of something. And starting over is definitely something I’m greatly afraid of.
A large part of that fear is the fear of the unknown. Where will my paychecks be coming from. Will I be able to afford my current way of life? Will I be able to pay my debts?
But we all started somewhere. Every new beginning had to start… at, well, the beginning. So as scary as starting over seems, close your eyes and take that baby step forward. Eventually as you add step by step together, you will look up, and around only to find yourself far from the beginning and well on your way.
You just have to start.
10. Having it figured out
I have always been that person that felt like I needed to have a plan, a purpose, and path. I mean I wanted to be a veterinarian since I was FOUR. I knew that I needed to do undergrad (✔️) and graduate school (✔️) to fulfill that life dream…. I also figured that once I got to that point in my life it would just work itself out naturally.
Never mind that I hadn’t determined how family, or personal life goals would factor in… I literally just figured one milestone would bring on the remainder of my life plans.
Hook. Line. Sinker.
Except it didn’t. I woke up the day after finishing school with literally no idea what to do with my life. I didn’t have a job lined up yet (hello match program), I didn’t have a place to live, or really any idea of what I was going to do. Then I started my internship, which led to a residency, which led to unbelievable amounts of life experiences, traveling, and ultimately burnout.
I now sit here, on the brink of a new decade realizing that my new decade will also bring a tremendous amount of change my way.
And that’s okay. Don’t get me wrong. I’m incredibly scared about what 2020 might hold in store for me… What changes it will bring, what new opportunities it will provide… But I’ve hit the point in my life where something’s gotta change. And I have no idea what, when, or how…. but change is a coming.
So let’s sort out 2020 together. One step and one day at a time.
XoXo,
Nattie & Hazel Nut